I didn’t know what I was doing. But I knew I had to do something.
It was late April. The rain hadn’t let up for weeks now and the world had become content with remaining soggy and gray. I sat in my car, waiting to see the shuttle bus turn the corner. It was a nice perk not having to walk to class in this weather. I didn’t mind the rain – I loved it. But being driven around always gave me more time to think.
On my lap was my rusty green shoulder bag and in that bag was my paperwork to withdraw from college.
I was nearing the end of my freshman year and God had made it clear that I needed to step out in faith towards him. Like Abraham, he didn’t give me a clear destination – only the call to get up and move. I fought this call for months. I must have heard God wrong, there’s no way he would want me to leave all of this, to give up my scholarship…there has to be another way?
Softly and consistently God shifted my affections and even my fears. I didn’t know what I wanted out of life but I knew I wanted Him. I knew I had to chase Him, that I would only get one shot at this life and if he was calling me to do something extraordinary then I would give it my all.
The only problem is that giving your all doesn’t make sense in the moment. Usually, when God presses upon you something he wants you to do it doesn’t make any practical sense. In fact, if God wasn’t involved, it would be the very last option in your mind.
Everyone talks about how God is a God of order. He ordained the heavens and nature to follow certain rules and to never stray from them. That’s why everybody has to obey gravity and time and so many other laws that enable the world to function.
I also believe that God created order so that we would pay attention when he disrupted it. Jesus broke the rules all the time! He walked on water and turned water into wine and healed the sick and rose from the dead. None of what he did made sense – it wasn’t supposed to. It was aimed at showing the power of God, the power to disrupt the natural.
This is the God who was disrupting my life. He was breaking in and asking me to go against the flow, to break the “rules,” and to trust Him along the way. If you’re reading this, God’s probably tapping you to do the same. You see, God’s kingdom is meant to be disruptive. It’s meant to shake things up! But the only way that happens is if Christians take their role seriously.
The world only changes if we change it.
That day I rode the shuttle bus up to the student services building, walked in and handed them the paperwork to begin the withdrawal process. I had no idea the adventure God was about to take me on, but I knew this was the first step.
God is calling you to take that first step. You know what it is. It’s the hard thing. The thing you’ve been resisting, maybe for a long time, but this is where it has to start. The great places can only be reached by going through the hard places.
And He will be with you, every step along the way.